by Deacon Derrick and Mistianna Barnes
Mistianna: As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, it’s a great time to add a little “spice” or a little “sexy” back into your marriage relationship.
Deacon Derrick: After you have been married a while you move from that can’t keep your hands off each other to less of the honeymoon phase. Basically, romantic gestures and daily conversation have fallen to the point of “don’t forget paper towels on your way home” is really the “spiciest” part of your marriage? Mistianna and I want to encourage you to put the passion back in your marriage by letting your spouse know that they’re just as attracted to them today as you were in the beginning of your married life together.
Mistianna: To bring back that “spice” you both felt for each other in the beginning of your marriage, Derrick and I want to encourage you to “Reclaim Your Sexy In Sixty”, and add a little “intellectual foreplay” to your marriage each and every day!
Deacon Derrick: You are probably wondering right now, what Mistianna is talking about when she says, “Reclaim Your Sexy In Sixty” and how it can actually “spice up” your marriage and ignite the passion and love you first felt for each other early in your married life together. To “Reclaim Your Sexy In Sixty” means that each day, 365 days a year, you and your spouse take one minute each and share all of the things you love about each other. During this time you share both the physical attributes you find “Hot” about your spouse and the little day to day things your spouse does that really turns you on; this will begin to ignite the passion back into your marriage and help you to rekindle the flames of desire you once had for each other.
Mistianna: Hello, intellectual foreplay! We all like to feel sexy and desirable by the one we love. So, when our spouses tell us the things they find hot and sexy about us, those warm and tingly feelings that were present during the “honeymoon phase” of our relationship come flooding back. And, all of a sudden, we find our lover, our best friend and our life companion super “HOT” and super “Sexy” again and that is a great thing for your marriage.
Deacon Derrick: This type of playful banter, flirting and, what Mistianna and I like to call “intellectual foreplay” with your spouse, can really do wonders for your relationship and for your sex life. So, this Valentine’s Day don’t forget the roses and chocolates but also, write each other a card or a love letter about what you find “sexy” and “hot” about each other.
Mistianna: Derrick and I hope you will also make a Valentine’s Day commitment to “Reclaim Your Sexy In Sixty” each and every day. By introducing this type of “intellectual foreplay” into your marriage you can really “heat up” your married life and put passion back into your marriage. Happy Heart Day y’all and remember its important to put your marriage first, and make your marriage matter! This means making your marriage a priority and committing to spending time together and keeping the fires burning inside and outside the bedroom.
Deacon Derrick: If you are still enjoying the “honeymoon “ phase of your marriage, keep those flames brightly burning inside and outside the bedroom. Commit to “Continuing Your Sexy In Sixty”, and engage daily in “intellectual foreplay” with each other for one minute each, every day. This means investing in always making each other feel desired and appreciated. It also means never letting that “can’t keep your hands off each other” feeling turn into “can you please pass the butter”.
Mistianna: So, Happy Heart Day, lovers!!! On February 14 th, hold hands, whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears, and kiss passionately. Take this day of hearts, flowers, love and lovers to make the best commitment, you can ever make to each other besides keeping your marriage vows, invest in “intellectual foreplay” and giving sixty seconds each day to keeping or bringing the sexy back into your marriage. May you all have happy and holy marriages and be the passionate person your spouse needs you to be!
Deacon Derrick Barnes and his wife Mistianna were married in 1995 and were college sweethearts. They have one daughter, Kailee, who is in college at UK, and two fur babies Elvis and Presley Anne. They have been involved in a variety of Marriage Prep Programs in the Archdiocese of Louisville for more than 18 years, as a sponsor couple, speakers at Foundations of Marriage and presenters for the Engaged Encounter.
In, 2012, Derrick was ordained a deacon and is assigned to Saint Margaret Mary Parish in Louisville, KY where he and Mistianna are parishioners and founders of SMM’s Marriage Ministry. Deacon Derrick and Mistianna are passionate about the Sacrament of Marriage and feel called to help others have happy and holy marriages.
They are currently on the Leadership Team for the Louisville Engaged Encounter and speak and conduct workshops on a variety of marriage prep and marriage topics across the Archdiocese of Louisville.